Everytime
by just-for-fun-444
Summary: Tru couldn't save someone close to her. How does she deal with the consequences


**Title: Every time**

Disclaimer: All rights are reserved by fox, meaning Tru, Harrison and Lindsay aren't mine.

A/N: thanks for reading my story and reviews will be appreciated

Tru Davies stumbled through the door of her apartment. Tears streamed down her face as she dumped her bag and jacket on the floor. She walked into the bathroom and began filling up the tub. She felt so dirty, so disgusting. Bile rose in her throat and she ran to the toilet to vomit. She slumped on the floor after about five minutes of retching but still didn't feel any better. The feeling of loathing and disgust over flowed her body and no amount of vomiting or crying had taken that away. Her body shook with internal pain as familiar sensations washed over her. She crawled into the tub as memories, old and fresh flooded her mind. There was nothing more in her body that she could physically dispose of but she still needed to eradicate the pain.  
  
_At night I pray  
That soon your face will fade away_  
  
Unfortunately she couldn't vomit memories away. Not Lindsay's dead body, staring at her with cold blue eyes, almost accusing her. Not her mother's, lying on the sidewalk, blood soaking the ground beneath her. She remembered trying to shake her, trying to make her get up, but she wouldn't move, couldn't move.  
  
_And every time I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you  
_  
She didn't get a second chance with her mother, but she did with Lindsay. So what happened when second chances weren't enough? She saved people, or at least she was mean to, so why could she save her best friend. The one fucking person to come into the morgue and ask for help, the only one of them she cared about prior to their death, the most important of them and she failed. She wasn't fast enough, wasn't smart enough, wasn't good enough. Tremors wreaked her body as she cried violently for her mother and for her best friend. Her tears dried up, it was physically impossibly for her to cry but her body continued shaking with self-loathing and anguish. Her grief overwhelmed her body and her soul.  
  
_I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song's my sorry_  
  
_Lindsay I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry_, she repeated over and over, her voice went hoarse and her muscles limp. She knew in the back of her mind that she was sinking in the tub. The water level was almost up to her nose and small amounts of water were seeping into her mouth. She didn't notice or didn't care.  
  
Harrison had been trying to get in contact with Tru ever since she hung up on him after telling him that Lindsay had needed saving. Tru usually called him to fill him in with what was happening or mainly to tell him to get titbits of information to help her but not only had be not heard from but she also stopped answering her phone. Meredith had shooed him away, snapping at him for interrupting her meeting before telling him, that no she hadn't heard from Tru and that he was beginning to become as paranoid as their sister.

He made his way up to her apartment. He used the spare key to open the door. "Tru?" he called out, spying her bag and jacket just past the threshold of the door. Frowning he made his way through the apartment. "Tru, where are you?" There was no answer. He came to the bathroom, the door was slightly ajar and the air through the door was warmer. "Tru? Are you alright?" No answer. "Tru? Tru I'm coming in." Harrison called out, beginning to worry. He gently pushed the door open. The bathroom seemed empty. Harrison frowned but his expression soon changed to panic and fear as he spied his sister underneath the water. He jumped in the water and lifted his unconscious sister from the tub. "Tru? Tru can you hear me?" His voice cracked with terror, tears pricked the corner of his eyes and his breathing became ragged and unsteady. He laid her down on the floor and felt her pulse, it was there but it was weak. He tried to resuscitate her but medicine was her speciality not his.  
  
_Every time I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
_  
"Tru, please you can't do this...please," he begged her, pressing down on her chest again. Seconds went by but they seemed like hours. All of a sudden Tru's body sprung to life, sputtering and coughing out the water. "Tru, Tru are you alright?" he asked. Her breathing was laboured, but at least she was breathing. She nodded slightly, momentarily forgetting everything that happened that day. "Why did you...were you..." but Harrison couldn't finish that sentence. He didn't want to believe, didn't want to know that his sister might have tried to end her life. He held her close, cradling her head in his hands. He couldn't know just yet. Tru leaned in his arms momentarily in peace but his words, brought her back to reality and with that the memory of the events of that day. Her body went stiff and she began to shake and sob in his arms. At first Harrison thought that she was in shock, but the barely audible muttering on Lindsay's name insinuated otherwise. "Hey," he gently said, lifting her chin so she would look at him. Her face was contorted in pain and her cheeks were wet, not from the bath but form her tears. "She's dead," she said looking straight into his eyes. Her own eyes were so empty, so cold. Like no one was home. "Lindsay's dead."

Harrison knew about Tru's gift, a curse as she called it so often. He knew how the dead got a second chance; Tru was their second chance. He knew that today Lindsay got a second chance. And he knew that she needed a third, a third chance that she'd never get. "I'm sorry Tru," he whispered. His words didn't seem to register in her mind. He lifter her up and brought her to the bedroom, wrapping her in a blanket and laying her on the bed. She looked so small and weak; there was no trace of his energetic big sis who threw smart comebacks and at him and teased him. Tears escaped his eyes as he ran his hands through her hair, trying to calm her heaving body.

"Tru, I don't know if you're listening right now, I don't know how this trauma stuff works, but I hope you know that you're the most important person to me in my life. Do you remember when I was going to save Sarah? And you told me that I was the only person you had left? That you've lost everybody else...well so have I. You're the only person I have left and I can't loose you." He watched her for a moment. After seeing no reaction he got up to turn off the lights to let her sleep but as he stood he felt a slight tug on his hand. He turned around searching her eyes for any sign of life. She was looking straight at him, her eyes held so much grief, so much pain but at least he knew she was back. He squizzed her hand and sat back down next to her on the bed. "You won't loose me," she said in a hoarse voice. He smiled at her. It was a sad smile, letting her know that he understood what happened and that he was there for her. He pulled the blanket tight around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "You should get some rest. And when you're ready to talk, I'll be here." She nodded but didn't let go of his hand, drifting off to sleep.  
  
_I guess I need you, baby_


End file.
